What do your thoughts have to do with beauty? Everything. No matter what a woman looks like on the outside, if she lets negative thoughts run through her brain all day, she will not come across as appealing to others. We’ve all met a woman like this–a woman who’s beautiful by society’s standards, but the moment she opens her mouth, she instantly becomes less attractive. Maybe she’s rude to a stranger or she starts bitching about her husband (or her boss or her kids or her new haircut). It doesn’t matter. The moment she starts complaining, gossiping, criticizing or whining, the truth of what’s in going on in her inner world is revealed. And it’s ugly.
On the other hand, we’ve all met a woman who may not be gorgeous, but after speaking with her for even just a few minutes, she suddenly appears far more attractive. The light in her eyes, the warmth of her smile, her intelligence, wit and kindness are an outward reflection of what’s happening inside her head. Her demeanor and speech—the way she interacts with the world—it’s all a reflection of her thought life. And her thought life is predominantly beautiful.
Your thought life cannot be ignored if you want to be the most beautiful woman you can be. This fact is backed by the latest neuroscience. Scientists have found that when we let fear-based thoughts into our brains, they form new connections and release disruptive chemicals that place our brains in a continual state of stress. This will eventually manifest in a variety of anxiety disorders, depression and even physical illness such as fibromyalgia, autoimmune disorders, etc. Some neuroscientists have even suggested that up to 92% of all mental and physical illnesses are a direct result of our thought lives. That alone should be enough reason to take a thought inventory immediately.
When you begin stopping toxic thoughts the moment they pop into your head, the dendrites in your brain where you previously formed negative connections around those toxic thoughts will begin to shrivel up and die. This allows room for positive thoughts to take hold in their place. Where you would usually think a negative thought, replace it with one of gratitude–for anything. You will become instantly more attractive within hours of doing this. It’s the best beauty secret on earth.
Your Powerful Inner World
Just how important is “inner beauty”? Let’s think about a few women we know for a minute—women like Britney Spears, Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton. All three girls are technically beautiful by society’s standards, but they remain the brunt of late night jokes because their inner beauty has yet to be fully cultivated. Or take someone like Heidi Montag, the reality star whose quest for beauty resulted in 10 plastic surgeries by age 23. Did she reach her goal of being gorgeous? Not really. Most people hear her name and laugh. She’s a caricature of beauty–a shell of a person. She (and millions of other women like her) are proof that big boobs, collagen-injected lips and Botoxed foreheads do not a beautiful woman make.
Any woman whose quest for beauty stops at her external appearance will never reach her goal. Until a woman reigns in her thoughts, thereby changing her attitudes, emotions, words and behavior, she will never escape a litany of associated problems such as depression, anxiety, addictions and failed relationships. These types of problems are not attractive. To anyone.
How It Works
Women who radiate true beauty do not allow fear-based thoughts to take up residence in their brain. Scientists have found that our brains are actually hardwired for love not fear. But when toxic thoughts enter our brains and we let them hijack and override the system, we can think ourselves into a state of anxiety or depression very rapidly. On the other hand, if we only allow healthy, positive thoughts to circuit through our brains, the chemicals they release make us feel instantly calm, peaceful and confident. We feel capable as we deal with the little trials of everyday life. We live in the present moment with gratitude and joy.
Your assignment today is to observe your thoughts. Begin “catching” every toxic thought that enters your brain to eliminate it before it can take up residence and form new connections. Once a toxic thought has time to “form connections” and gets to know the other negative thoughts in that particular region of the brain–it will bond to those thoughts, making the toxic mess of dendrites in that area stronger and harder to eliminate.
Toxic thoughts are all connected, but we don’t have to let a thought that enters our brain trigger us to head down the rabbithole. We can stop the spiral of negative thinking before it even begins.
Try to “think about what you’re thinking” as often as you can in the next 24 hours. Whenever you realize you’re thinking a negative, fear-based thought, toss it out and determine to think a love-based thought of gratitude in its place. Instead of visualizing the worst happening, begin visualizing the best. I promise you your entire life will change.
Verbal Cues to Listen For
We as women are especially vulnerable to fear-based thoughts when we’re with other women. The competitive nature of beauty in our society can cause automatic toxic thoughts such as, “Why is she so thin? What’s she doing that I’m not? Wow, I feel so ugly. She’s so pretty. What’s wrong with me? I’ll never get it together.”
If you are ever in a situation with other women and you notice yourself thinking these types of thoughts, stop. The best way to catch yourself thinking negatively is to listen to your words. Here are some verbal cues to listen for that will let you know your thoughts aren’t what they should be:
Complaining. If you hear yourself complain about anything—from the weather to your husband’s work schedule—stop and pay attention your thoughts.
Criticizing. We cannot control other people. We can only control ourselves. We are only responsible for our own choices and the way we choose to live our lives. It is not our responsibility to tell anyone else how he or she should live. Whenever you hear yourself criticizing anyone—from your sister to the President of the United States—stop and think about what you’re thinking.
Gossiping. If you hear yourself speaking negatively about someone, it’s time to think about your thoughts again. Gossiping is never pretty because it screams, “I’m insecure!” to the world. It shows that you are in such dire emotional straits you’ve resorted to slamming others in order to feel better about yourself.
When you criticize or gossip, your judgements about others say nothing about their behavior, it only tells those around you that you’re the kind of person who has to make judgements about others in order to feel better about yourself.
Some toxic thoughts may have been part of your brain for so many years that you can’t imagine life without them. If that is the case I recommend you look into The Work by Byron Katie. By working through the free step-by-step process on her website you will learn how your negative thoughts have shaped your identity and how you can free yourself from them once and for all.
The good news is that you can choose to rewire the dendrites in your brain so the toxic connections you’ve already formed will literally shrivel up and die. Then you can begin to replace them with new healthy dendrites, linking together positive, uplifting thoughts of gratitude and joy.
More than 30,000 thoughts will enter your brain today. These thoughts will ultimately determine whether or not those around you perceive you as being beautiful. Every message you send the powerful computer that is your brain will either put you closer to the beautiful woman you want to be or further away. It’s up to you to choose.
Three Ways to Help Your Brain
As you begin to change your brain with new thought patters, make use of these three secrets scientists have proven to boost brain health. Following these tips will ensure your brain is functioning at optimal levels as you embark on the process of rewiring it.
Take an Omega-3 oil supplement every day. Omega-3 fatty acids improve communication between brain cells. The lack of Omega-3’s can cause a communication breakdown in the brain. DHA, a fatty acid found in high concentration in the gray matter of the brain, is instrumental in the function of brain cell membranes—which are important for the transmission of brain signals. Research has shown that many people with emotional, mental and psychiatric problems have one thing in common—a lack of Omega-3 fatty acids in their body. As many as 22% of Americans now show no detectable amounts of essential Omega-3 fatty acids in their tissues. Low levels of DHA have been linked to memory loss, depression, bipolar, ADD, schizophrenia, autism and more. Omega-3’s help regulate mood by increasing levels of serotonin in the brain. So the real question is: Why not take some kind of Omega-3 oil every day? My favorite brand is Barlean’s Omega-3 Fish Oil Swirl in Pina Colada or Peach. This delicious oil eliminates the gross taste and fishy burps.
Get your heart rate up every day for at least 10-20 minutes. Neuroscientists at the University of Cambridge and the National Institute on Aging found that even just a few days of heart-pounding exercise stimulates the brain to grow new cells. Mice who ran on a wheel grew an average of 6,000 new brain cells in the hippocampus when compared to mice that didn’t get their heart rate up. This could be due to increased blood flow to the brain, elevated hormone levels or a decrease in cortisol, the hormone associated with stress. Scientists still aren’t totally sure what causes it. The bottom line is that there are many good chemicals released in our bodies when we get our hearts pumping, including endorphins, norepinephrine, serotonin, dopamine). And all of them have been shown to have a positive impact on our mental and emotional well-being. One study even found that regular exercise improved depression symptoms just as well as medication.
Get 8 hours of sleep every night. Yes, getting your “beauty rest” is still an absolute must, especially if you want your brain to work correctly. Scientists have long known that sleep impairs the body by causing a breakdown in the immune system and even the metabolism, but they’re only beginning to learn just how much lack of sleep harms the brain. Researchers have found that sleep-deprived animals produce significantly fewer new brain cells in a particular region of the hippocampus. Brian imaging studies show that without sleep, the emotional centers in the brain cause us to dramatically overreact to negative experiences. The brains of sleep-deprived people were over 60% more reactive than those who’d had a normal night’s sleep. Without enough sleep, the brain is unable to put emotional experiences into context and produce appropriate responses to them. A good night’s sleep appears to restore this function and fix the brain’s circuits. The brain regions that become impaired in sleep-deprived people are the same ones that become impaired with aging. So unless you want to age your brain well before it’s time, make it a priority to get at least 8 hours a night. And don’t forget that the hours of sleep you get before midnight are the most vital for restoring both brain and body.
Guru recommended reading list:
- Who Switched Off My Brain: Controlling Toxic Thoughts and Emotions by Dr. Caroline Leaf
- Psycho-Cybernetics: A New Way to Get More Living Out of Life by Dr. Maxwell Maltz
- A Complaint-Free World: How to Stop Complaining and Start Enjoying the Life Your Always Wanted by Will Bowen